Dear J.T. & Dale: My brother committed a crime and has gone to jail. We live in a small town, and everybody knows what he did, as it affected the town. Now I am having difficulty finding a job. I am definitely paying for his sins. I don’t have the money to move to another town, and frankly, my parents need me. What can I do to get people to give me a chance? – Luciane
DALE: Living as we do in the Time of No Time, everything gets accelerated. Now, your small town is reveling in feeling righteous and superior to your brother and, sadly, to your family. But that pendulum could swing back abruptly to sympathy if you can give it a nudge. The town needs to know you hate what your brother did and that on top of the heartbreak of having lived through his imprisonment, you’re now being unjustly punished for his mistake. So I’d suggest contacting a reporter at the local paper and pitching your story. This will wake people up to the unfairness of your situation and might even yield job offers.
J.T.: There is a less public version that might work even better. Start by identifying five people in the town you most respect and admire – business owners who have become pillars of the community. I would then reach out and see if they would take a meeting with you and let them know that you are seeking their advice. Explain to them why you admire them and why they are one of five people on your list. Ask them for guidance on how they believe you can get the town to see that you are not like your brother and how important it is that you get a job. Hopefully, these individuals will recognize that they didn’t get where they are today without making some mistakes. Let’s also hope they see the value in helping you move on to a new job and separating yourself from these unfortunate events.
Dear J.T. & Dale: I am a manager of a small smoothie shop. The owner came to me and said that the business wasn’t making enough money and he had to take me off salary. I’m now hourly, and he told me I now had to split the tips with the rest of the wait staff. They are all angry because that drops the money they make. They are taking it out on me, but this wasn’t my fault. What should I do? – Carson
J.T.: First, I would go to your boss and ask if he can explain to the rest of the staff what has happened. It shouldn’t have been your responsibility to explain that to them. Second, I would also ask your boss what it is going to take financially for you to go back to a management salary so that the wait staff can all make their tips again. If everyone understood what needs to happen, they would all have a vested interest in trying to get there. Lastly, if he says there is nothing that can be done and doesn’t want to try to help you get back to that level, I would start looking for a new role. Don’t quit your job (because it’s much harder to find a new job when you are unemployed), but at least you could look for a new management role and know that you tried to do everything to get things back on track at your current employer.
DALE: All good advice, although the best of that advice is simply to start looking for a new job. Your career progress rides atop the progress of the organization where you work. If you manage a store or restaurant for a thriving company, one that’s opening new locations and entering new territories, you get many opportunities for promotions, not to mention bonuses or stock options. You can’t have a big career in a small shop, especially one that’s shrinking. Make the move now and get yourself many chances for something better.
Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a career coach and the founder of the leading career site www.workitdaily.com. Dale Dauten is founder of The Innovators’ Lab and author of a novel about H.R., “The Weary Optimist.” Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 628 Virginia Dr., Orlando, FL 32803. © 2020 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.
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Be direct to get past stigma of brother’s crime - Albuquerque Journal
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